New Years

New Years.

To mothers this means next to nothing.

When you’re a mother every day seems like New Years. We go to bed making resolutions and promises to ourselves nightly. Tomorrow I’m going to not lose it when my 3 year old refuses to put on pants and I’m late for work. Tomorrow I’m going to do that cute crafty thing with the kids I saw on Pinterest and it will be magical. Tomorrow I’m going to start cooking healthy, freshly made meals for my kids like that lady on Instagram does. Tomorrow I’m going to stop killing the environment with flushable wipes and the paper towels I go through like breathing air. Tomorrow….. you get it. The truth is every day is a new chance to start over and try again when you’re a mom. Just remember that when you start that fresh new day full of promise you’re going to fail at something. Or at least feel that you have.
Mamas, we can’t do it all, but good Lord do we try. And you know what? You probably owned your day and didn’t even realize it. You were probably the envy of another mom today and didn’t even notice. Every time I tell another mom something I admire about her she laughs in response. We don’t even see how amazingly well we are doing in our own lives because we are too busy worrying about what we didn’t do well that day. Watching other moms succeed at things we feel we don’t. Then you throw in Facebook highlights of other moms, those crunchy Instagram moms cooking creative meals from their farmers market finds, and that mom dropping their kid off at daycare wearing heels and looking like she just walked out of a magazine. What we need to remind ourselves of is that ALL moms are losing their shit. Those Facebook highlights are just that. Highlights. I always wonder how people look so happy right after baby. My vagina was killing me and I had postpartum and bad anxiety after my first son was born. After my second son was born people loved our photos. What they didn’t see behind the scenes was us bribing our 2 year old with m&m’s or whatever other sugary treat he desired so he’d stop his lunacy and smile. They didn’t see my poor sleep deprived husband about to lose his shit. They also didn’t see me requesting a trip to the ER after because the pain in my neck and upper back had become too much. My mother in law and I were on our way to pick up my pain pills after said ER visit and I turned to her and said, “Those pictures looked really good.”. She laughed. That’s a mom in a nutshell.
So this new years remember how absolutely amazing you are each and every day. For example, are your kids fed? Well, yeah, BUT I fed them boxed mac and cheese. What? That’s great! Carbs are brain fuel AND you hit the dairy category too. Killing it. See how that works? So let’s try to change the self-talk in our heads. Let’s celebrate what we did right while going over what we will do better tomorrow. Tell other moms what you admire about them. Be honest about what you feel you’re failing at and watch how quickly another mom shuts down those negative thoughts. Let’s support each other. There’s nothing more invaluable than a group of moms building each other up.
And if all else fails there’s always wine.
Wine suggestions welcome in the comments.